Rebuilding Trust After an Affair

Infidelity is top on the list of things that can shatter a relationship and leave both partners struggling to regain their footing. Unfortunately, trust, the foundation of any healthy relationship, is often the first casualty of an affair. Not every relationship can survive after infidelity because most people find recovering from the hurt and the betrayal hard. But for those willing to put in the work, it’s possible to rekindle things, achieve healing and rebuild their union. Sometimes, the relationship may become stronger with deeper roots and intimacy than ever before. If you’re rebuilding trust after an affair, here is a list of action steps both can practice to help you have a do-over of your marriage.

Take Responsibility

The first step towards rebuilding trust is taking responsibility for the affair. The partner who had the affair should acknowledge their actions and accept responsibility for the hurt they have caused. This means taking ownership of the betrayal and expressing genuine remorse for their actions. Aside from being sincere and genuine in their apologies, it’s also essential for the partner who was involved in the affair to be patient and understanding as the other party processes their emotions.

Set Strict Boundaries

Boundaries are essential in any relationship but become even more critical after an affair. If both of you are committed to strengthening the union, discuss and agree on boundaries that will help rebuild trust. These boundaries may include blocking contact with the person with whom the affair occurred, sharing phone and social media passwords, and avoiding situations that could lead to temptation.


Be Patient

Rebuilding trust takes time and patience. The partner who has betrayed may feel hurt and angry for a long time, and giving them the space and time they need to go through all the stages of healing is essential. The partner who had the affair should be patient and remain transparent and honest, even if their efforts are not immediately rewarded. They also need to be more committed to the relationship and constantly prove to their partner that they are willing to do what it takes to earn their trust back.

Open Communication

When a partner has been unfaithful, it is important to have open and honest communication about what happened and why. This allows the betrayed partner to express their feelings and concerns and the unfaithful partner to take responsibility for their actions. In addition, open communication can help to rebuild trust by showing the betrayed partner that the other party is willing to be transparent and honest.

Seek Counseling

Seeking the help of a professional marriage counselor or therapist can be an essential step in fixing a broken relationship and rebuilding trust after an affair. A therapist will not only give practical steps to mend things, but they can also help both partners understand what led to the affair in the first place and provide guidance on how to repair this damage and move forward.